College Bound: The Transition

Full transparency, this was an emotionally taxing post so it’s coming to you a little later than I planned. As promised in my last post, we’re diving into the college years. More specifically, the road to college. Jump in for the ride…

Graduation Day

Ft. My Niece Violet Rose

2016 — Senior Year

I’d like to preface this by sharing that we’re all doing our best. On that note, my final year in high school was a rollercoaster. Between 4 AP classes (yes, I know I’m crazy), extracurriculars like colorguard and the leadership responsibilities tied to that, college apps were extra stressful. They were also my only way out.

As exciting as it was setting my sights on major universities, it was terrifying because at the time, I didn’t know where to start. Homework help at home stopped somewhere around 6th grade and online applications, SATs, fees, etc. were just as new to my parents as they were to me. I carpooled to my SAT exams, took a few buses to the campus hosting my ACT, and brought my dimes to the library for printing. My college office offered fee waivers for kids like me and they guided me through any and all of my applications. After whatever resources I could find at school, I’d go home and work on essays that in all honesty, felt like an invasion of privacy.

“Describe a time you’ve faced adversity. How did you overcome it and how has that influenced your decision to pursue higher education? Why are you a good fit for this University?”

The questions go on in a similar fashion right? Well to the 12 schools that I had open applications for, I’m supposed to tell you some of the hardest parts of my life and then brag about myself??? Simple 🙃 Somewhere between the submission process & acceptance letters, I was dead set on jumping at a 4-year experience with dorms, campus-life, and greek life. Thus, my impulsive decision to give my intent to register for a school 6 hours away in a city I’ve never seen.

The scholarship that changed it all

I found out that the $800 for my housing deposit was due that next day. Safe to say by Monday morning, I was balling my eyes outside my first period class with one of my best friends because I sincerely thought the commitment I made to move fell through. I felt stuck. I had anxiety thinking about going anywhere closer to home.

One week before graduation, we had our Senior Awards night — some paired with scholarships. I was 1/5 recipients of the Class of 1965 Scholarship. This was offered by a former alum meaning that my main point of contact was through my principal. To whom I owe my sincerest thank you, she set the ball rolling for my journey to SF State. The scholarship itself allocated funds to educational expenses which then allowed us to redirect towards my housing. This covered $675 of my installment fee so when asked if I could cover the difference, I guess my “I can figure it out” wasn’t convincing.

When I received my check during the next meeting, she handed me an envelope that included the remainder in cash noting that some of the faculty I knew heard about my situation, then chipped in. Of course, I sat in her office and cried then gave her a hug with a promise that I would do my best if everything worked out with the move. By the end of the week, I walked across that stage watching handshake after handshake only to be greeted by her open arms. She hugged me with a congratulations and reassurance that I was going to be okay, that I was going to do great.

2016 — The Gap

College was the confirmation this birdie was leaving the nest. Over the summer, I got my first job working at a neighborhood mall (Aeropostale what’s good ☺︎︎) & took up a gig coaching for my alma mater…I couldn’t escape marching band ☠︎︎Here’s what made summer break so scary:

• I had the second to last orientation date for SFSU

• I was waitlisted for on-campus housing until the month before school started

• I had no idea how I was going to move up to SF until a week before move-in

I begged my mom to rally for a Greyhound trip to SF. We stayed with one of my friends (who later became my sorority sister) then over those four days, I registered for my first 12 units of undergrad, met my first new friend at State, and wore my mom out after hours of exploring downtown. I felt the first of many aches that would hit when leaving the city with the promise to myself that I would come back soon.

I joke that I would have moved up with a backpack, duffle bag and a suitcase because that’s essentially what I could bring on Greyhound — trust me, I would have done it. I have a great friend who said she’d cover my ticket if the only thing stopping me from leaving was the price of transportation. She was the same one who covered my ridiculously expensive textbook first semester because I had no idea every penny of my loans went to housing. Luckily I caught a ride up with one of my best friend’s soon-to-be roomies (safe to say I didn’t bring a whole lot with me as their guest).

Move-In Day

We drove overnight to arrive early morning, greeted by a wave of fog. I checked-in for my room and was a one-woman show with the first of my suitemates to move in. The easy unpacking process left me feeling a little bummed I was flying solo but that same night, my new roomie and I sat in the living room belting out Paramore songs — well…the rest is history.

Takeaways

If I could tell little Jas what to do differently, I’d tell her to ask for help sooner; to say what she was really feeling even if things got ugly and maybe she’d have the extra conviction. Some challenges are worth the struggle so my biggest accomplishment was that I had the courage to start something new. To trust myself even while things were rocky. I may not have had the support I was expecting but the support I found was unequivocal. Our stories are powerful for those following our footsteps. If I had to do it all over again, I would.

To all of those who have ever been part of that journey & to those who will be,

You are capable of more than you think…

“Stand up straight and realize who you are, that you tower over your circumstances.”

- Maya Angelou